Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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