Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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