in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
