All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
