So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
