I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
