He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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