I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize