Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
