Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
