we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize