he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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