I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
