He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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