it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
