When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
