Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
honey bunches of taint.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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