The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
