Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
