exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
