But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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