I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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