guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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