Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
