break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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