Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
