He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
