im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
