Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
