Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
