Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
