ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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