Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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