dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
