i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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