The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
