If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He better not be in your backpack
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
