wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
