Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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