She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
