filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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