are you still at the devil's house?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize