He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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