she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
