I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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