my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
