Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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