Jerry, you need to find god
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
