Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
