new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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