she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
