Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
