There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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