Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
time to smoke my breakfast
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize