marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
