Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
