We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
