I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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