I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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