If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
