Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
